Ephesians 6:1-4 - Homilies By R. Finlayson

The duties of children and parents.

I. DUTY OF CHILDREN . "Children, obey your parents."

1. Sphere in which the obedience is to take place . "In the Lord." It was said in Ephesians 5:21 , as determining the character of the whole subjection that there is between human beings, that it is to be "in the fear of Christ." That is to be interpreted as meaning that, in each ease, Christ is to be regarded as the authority (behind the visible) before which those who are subjected are to bow. The husband, we have seen, represents Christ (so far as it goes) to the wife. And so the parents represent Christ to the children. And then only can the children obey in the Lord when they regard their parents as placed over them in the Lord. In baptism parents acknowledge that their children belong to the Lord as standing over them. And, in accordance with this, children are to look to their parents as standing in the place of Christ to them, and to obey them as though they were obeying Christ.

2. Natural ground of the duty . "For this is right." There is a relationship founded deep in nature between parents and those to whom they have given being. This is associated with an affection which is one of the most beautiful things in our nature. The strength of the parental affection qualifies the parents for being placed in authority over their children. And the filial affection leads the children to look to their parents as the natural source of authority ever them.

3. Scriptural confirmation . "Honor thy father and mother." This is the fifth commandment, and is wider in its range than obedience to parents. Contents of fifth commandment .

II. DUTY OF PARENTS . Fathers are addressed; mothers might have been addressed as well. But one class only being mentioned it is those who represent the others.

1. Negatively . "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath." Parents have not a right to act as they please toward their children. They are responsible to him who has placed them over their children, and are bound to act in his spirit. Parents provoke their children to wrath when they give them a sense of wrong .

2. Positively . "But nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." Such nurture is to be understood as a tender plant needs. If it is to be brought to any perfection, then it needs to be suited as to soil, as to exposure, as to temperature, as to nourishment, as to protection from insects, as to its particular habits. So parents have tender plants given them in their children to rear up, sometimes exceptionally tender, but tender in any circumstances. They have to keep them from the storms and blasts that would wither them. They have their physical development carefully to watch over. Their intellectual development, too, needs great care, that they may not grow up stunted. And especially has care to be bestowed on the nurture of their spiritual powers.

(a) Chastening . It is difficult (apparently impossible) to get words in the English language to represent the two words that are in the Greek original. They are in a general way to be distinguished as discipline by power and discipline by reason . This distinction is effected in the words which are used in the Revised translation ("chastening and admonition"), but by an undue limitation of the meaning. The first word is more than discipline by punishment; the punishment is accidental, or what is only occasionally to be resorted to in discipline. It is rather all that drilling which a parent gives his children in virtue of the executive (magisterial) power which is placed in him. He has certain rules by which he goes in training his children, and he has got the power to enforce them. The first lesson he has to teach them is that he is their master. And so they are, at first, purely in his strong grasp. In vain is all their resistance. As soon as they can lisp words they must use them in prayer. They are passive in his hand, and he can make them utter what he pleases, he makes them observe simplicity, restraint, good manners in eating, that they may not learn to make too much of the pleasures of the table. He makes them say "grace before meat," that they may learn betimes from whom all table-comforts come. He makes them attend to their lessons, that they may know that they have got to work and not to be idlers. He makes them be select as to their companionships, that they may not get out into evil associations. He appoints certain hours for the house, that they may learn order and punctuality. He does not ask them if they will go to church, but he makes them go to church with him. That is the kind of drilling that is meant here, and when it is necessary it must be backed up by chastening, or judicious punishment for good.

(b) Admonition . This is also a word of too narrow a meaning. The Greek word means generally an appeal to reason. This commences at a later stage, viz. when intellect begins to open. It is not necessary that a parent should always explain to a child the reasons of his procedure. But it is important that, as a rule, children should have explained to them the evil of the course they are asked to avoid, and the advantages of the course they are asked to follow. And if they evince a tendency to any evil course, it is right that they should be remonstrated with or reproved. The importance of an appeal to reason is that it has in view the emancipation of the children from parental authority. The time has to come when they have to go from under their parents, and be thrown upon their own responsibilities and resources. And it is all-important that, when they go out to the world and meet its temptations, they should be fortified with good habits and reasons which they have in their minds for a course of sobriety, of industry, and of godliness. Parents, then, should feel their responsibility with regard to the proper up-bringing of their children. This responsibility is great in view of the evil that is so natural to them, and in view of the evil example with which they are surrounded. They should see to it that they are first of all Christians themselves, leading a Christian life before their children. They are especially to see that they are Christians in the methods which they use with their children.—R.F.