All of us have been hurt at one time or another, and the offender may well have been someone we love. We often attempt to get past the pain of such situations with comments like, "That's okay" or "Don't worry about it," and yet we just can't seem to shake that penetrating sting. Why aren't we able to let it go?
One reason that we struggle with unforgiveness is a simple matter of pride. Why don't we forgive? "Because that person hurt ME!" we cry. As a result of our offended pride, the injustice grows much greater than we should allow. It becomes an issue of personal insult rather than an honest mistake or flash of insensitivity.
Another factor in our unforgiveness is bitterness. We become resentful when we refuse to deal honestly with hurt feelings and then allow the matter to fester in our heart. A growing sense of irritation spreads through our spirit like an infection. It has been rightly said that bitterness is like a poison that you prepare for someone else and then drink yourself. While it silently destroys our life, the person who hurt us may remain completely unaware of our dark feelings.
Finally, we struggle with unforgiveness because we often have a poor idea of what it is all about. Or, we might be sitting around waiting for an apology that may never come.
If you have been hurt recently, pray for the strength and honesty to approach the offender and say, "You did this and it hurt me. But I love you and refuse to allow this to destroy our relationship."
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Charles Frazier Stanley was born September 25, 1932, in the small town of Dry Fork, Virginia. The only child of Charley and Rebecca Stanley, Charles came into the world during a time when the entire nation felt the grip of the Great Depression. To make matters worse, just nine months later, his father Charley died at the young age of 29.
However, Charles refused to let the Great Depression or the difficulties of his life define him. Instead, like his father and grandfather before him, he clung to God’s Word and took up the mantle to preach the gospel to whoever would listen.
Dr. Stanley’s motivation is best represented by the truth found in Acts 20:24, “Life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about God's mighty kindness and love.” This is because, as he says, “It is the Word of God and the work of God that changes people’s lives.”
Dr. Stanley’s teachings can be heard weekly at First Baptist Church Atlanta, daily on “In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley” radio and television broadcasts on more than 2,800 stations around the world, on the Internet at intouch.org, through the In Touch Messenger, and in the monthly, award-winning In Touch magazine.