Lose heart (120) (athumeo from a = without + thumos = passions, desire, spirit) means to become disheartened to the point of losing motivation, to be dispirited or to be broken in spirit. To feel like giving up. To become discouraged or despondent (this latter word means to feel or show extreme discouragement or dejection, because of loss of nearly all hope! "Despondent implies a deep dejection arising from a conviction of the uselessness of further effort" - Webster) To dishearten means to weaken or destroy one's hope, courage, enthusiasm, determination, confidence, etc. Dishearten means to demoralize, to depress one's spirits, to cause one to lose spirit or morale, to cause one to be cast down. In this context, athumeo means that the child feels that he can never do anything right and so gives up trying. When children find that they can do nothing right because of constant faultfinding with them, they are apt to become despondent. This is the only NT use of athumeo. Here are the 7 uses of athumeo in the Septuagint (LXX) (Deut. 28:65; 1Sam. 1:6f; 15:11; 2Sa 6:8; 1Chr. 13:11; Isa. 25:4 ) The duty of the parent is discipline, but it is also encouragement. Paul's point is that children who grow up with parents who continually (present tense) provoke them will often become disheartened. Paul wrote to his "spiritual children" reminding them "how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children." (1Th 2:11-note). Proverbs 19:18 encourages parents to ""Discipline your son while there is hope & do not desire his death." Proverbs 18:14 is a direct parallel to Paul's command in Colossians, instructing the wise father that "the spirit of a man can endure his sickness, but a broken spirit who can bear?" Eadie - The composition of the verb shows its strong signification. Children teazed and irritated lose heart, renounce every endeavor to please, or render at best but a soulless obedience. The verb occurs only here in the New Testament, but is found in the Septuagint, 1 Kings 1:16, etc., and in several of the classical authors. What the apostle guards against has been often witnessed, with its deplorable consequences. In the Epistle to the Ephesians, he speaks more fully, and enjoins the positive mode of tuition—“but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The young spirit is to be carefully and tenderly developed, and not crushed by harsh and ungenerous treatment. Too much is neither to be demanded nor expected. The twig is to be bent with caution, not broken in the efforts of a rude and hasty zeal. Approbation is as necessary to the child as counsel, and promise as indispensable as warning and reproof. Gisborne on this place well says—“To train up children as servants of God, as soldiers of Jesus Christ, for a future existence in preference to the present life; to instruct and habituate them, in conformity with their baptismal vow, to renounce the world, the flesh, and the devil, and to live not unto themselves but to that Redeemer who died for them; this is universally the grand duty of a parent. This well-known duty the apostle, though he does not name it, presupposes as acknowledged and felt by the Colossians. In the discharge of this duty, and in every step of their proceedings, he directs them to beware, as parents, of provoking their children to anger; that is to say, as the original term evidently implies, of exercising their own authority with irritating unkindness, with needless and vexatious severity; of harassing their children by capricious commands and restrictions; of showing groundless dissatisfaction, and scattering unmerited reproof. To act thus, the apostle declares, would be so far from advancing the religious improvement of children, that it would discourage them. It would not only deaden their affections towards their parents, but would dispirit their exertions, and check their desires after holiness.” (Colossians 3:21 Commentary) William Barclay writes this cautionary note... The more conscientious a parent is, the more he is likely always to be correcting and rebuking the child. Simply because he wishes the child to do well, he is always on his top. We remember, for instance, the tragic question of Mary Lamb, whose mind was ultimately unhinged: “Why is it that I never seem to be able to do anything to please my mother?” We remember the poignant statement of John Newton: “I know that my father loved me—but he did not seem to wish me to see it.” There is a certain kind of constant criticism which is the product of misguided love. The danger of all this is that the child may become discouraged. Bengel speaks of “the plague of youth, a broken spirit (Fractus animus pestis iuventutis).” It is one of the tragic facts of religious history that Luther’s father was so stern to him that Luther all his days found it difficult to pray: “Our Father.” The word father in his mind stood for nothing but severity. The duty of the parent is discipline, but it is also encouragement. Luther himself said, “Spare the rod and spoil the child. It is true. But beside the rod keep an apple to give him when he does well.” Sir Arnold Lunn, in Memory to Memory, quotes an incident about Field-Marshal Montgomery from a book by M. E. Clifton James. Montgomery was famous as a disciplinarian—but there was another side to him. Clifton James was his official “double” and was studying him during a rehearsal for D-Day. “Within a few yards of where I was standing, a very young soldier, still looking sea-sick from his voyage, came struggling along gamely trying to keep up with his comrades in front. I could imagine that, feeling as he did, his rifle and equipment must have been like a ton weight. His heavy boots dragged in the sand, but I could see that he was fighting hard to conceal his distress. Just when he got level with us he tripped up and fell flat on his face. Half sobbing, he heaved himself up and began to march off dazedly in the wrong direction. Monty went straight up to him and with a quick, friendly smile turned him round. ‘This way, sonny. You’re doing well—very well. But don’t lose touch with the chap in front of you.’ When the youngster realized who it was that had given him friendly help, his expression of dumb adoration was a study.” It was just because Montgomery combined discipline and encouragement that a private in the Eighth Army felt himself as good as a colonel in any other army. The better a parent is the more he must avoid the danger of discouraging his child, for he must give discipline and encouragement in equal parts. (Barclay, W: The Letters to the Philippians, Colossians, and Thessalonians. Philadelphia: The Westminster Press) Colossians 3:22 Slaves, in all things obey (2PPAM) those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing (PPPMPN) the Lord. Greek: hoi douloi, hupakouete (2PPAM) kata panta tois kata sarka (those according to flesh) kuriois, me en ophthalmodoulia (eye slavery) os anthropareskoi, (men pleasers) all' en haploteti kardias phoboumenoi (PPPMPN) ton kurion. Amplified: Servants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not only when their eyes are on you as pleasers of men, but in simplicity of purpose [with all your heart] because of your reverence for the Lord and as a sincere expression of your devotion to Him. (Amplified Bible - Lockman) KJV: Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as men pleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: NLT: You slaves must obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Obey them willingly because of your reverent fear of the Lord. (NLT - Tyndale House) Wuest: Slaves, be constantly obedient in all things to your human masters, not with eye-service as men-pleasers, but with an undivided heart, fearing the Lord. (Eerdmans) Young's Literal: The servants! obey in all things those who are masters according to the flesh, not in eye-service as men-pleasers, but in simplicity of heart, fearing God; SLAVES IN ALL THINGS OBEY THOSE WHO ARE YOUR MASTERS ON EARTH: hoi douloi, hupakouete (2PPAM) kata panta tois kata sarka kuriois: (Col 3:20; Psalms 123:2; Malachi 1:6; Matthew 8:9; Luke 6:46; 7:8; Ep 6:5, 6,7-note; 1Timothy 6:1,2; Titus 2:9,10-note; Philemon 1:16; 1Pe 2:18, 19-note) Ephesians has a parallel discussion on slaves and masters... Ephesians 6:5-note Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear (phobos) and trembling (tromos) , in the sincerity (haplotes) of your heart, as to Christ Eph 6:6-note not by way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. Eph 6:7-note With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, Eph 6:8-note knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free. Eadie - The master of the slave is only so (according to the flesh), the relationship is but corporeal and external, the contrast being-the real master is the Lord Christ....The principle of the obedience is all things (kata panta), as in Colossians 3:20. Refractoriness on the part of the slave would at once have embittered his life, and brought discredit on the new religion which he professed, but active and cheerful discharge of all duty would both benefit himself, promote his comfort, and recommend Christianity. 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