Ephesians 5:21-6:9
Defining Relationships

I. Are You Defined By Your Relationships?
A. The Paramount Idea of the Reigning Individualism
1. Today’s idea is that we should define our relationships rather than letting them define us.
2. Our identify and relationships are like a hamburger at Burger King: have it your way.
3. Male and female are different; and those differences determine our relationships.
B. Be Filled With the Spirit and So Submit To Each Other Out of Reverence for Christ (5:21).
II. Wives (5:22-24): “Wives submit to your husbands, as to the Lord.”
A. Just For The Culture of That Day?
1. “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church.” (5:23).
2. That relationship is not based on culture.
B. What Does “Submit” Mean?
1. Only that the husband is the tie-breaker? Two detached individuals?
2. “To take a subordinate role in relation to that of another.” In Genesis 2, to be a “helper”.
3. Girls should ask, about the man they are considering marrying: Is this a man I want to help?
4. William Booth, “Don’t instill . . . into the hearts of your girls the idea that marriage is the chief end of life. . . . .”
III. Husbands (5:25-33): “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.”
A. Jesus is the Model for the Husband.
1. Loving a partner made specifically for him who is supposed to submit to him, sounds easy.
2. Husbands are to love just like the One who gave Himself up for the church. To die.
3. The Second Person of the Trinity is now defined, in part, by His relationship to the church.
B. Jesus Gave Himself Up For the Church
1. The abusive husband is as insane and self-destructive as the man who abuses his own body.
2. Isn’t it reasonable, even desirable, to submit to a husband who is like Jesus?
3. A man must leave his father and mother to be united with his wife. “Leave and cleave”.
C. “This Great Mystery” (5:32): the perfect union of Christ with His people.
IV. Children: “Obey your parents in the Lord” (6:1)
1. Jesus by doing that because Jesus Himself did that (Luke 2:51).
2. “In the Lord leading them to the Lord, like teaching children to contribute to the family.
3. Obedience to human authorities is never absolute and unquestioning.
V. Parents (6:4): “Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
1. Parents show reverence for Christ by raising children like you want the Lord raising you.
2. One easy and important way you can do that is by bringing them to church.
3. Don’t be unnecessarily severe, unreasonably harsh, or unrealistically demanding.
4. Be pastors to your children, to “bring them up”, knowing of the Lord.
5. “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24)
6. Children should be in church. They are in danger from believing money is more important.
7. Care more for their loyalty to Jesus than their athletics or academics or making money.
VI. Workers (6:5-8): Workers should work in a way that shows they respect Jesus.
1. The Bible and Slavery: In Paul’s time, slavery had nothing to do with race; it wasn’t just for manual labor; was more widespread, and there wasn’t an alternative.
2. Obey our earthly bosses like we say we obey our heavenly one, not just when supervised.
3. Every single piece of work you produce must be good enough to make for Jesus.
VII. Bosses (6:9): treat employees in a way that shows reverence for Christ. In the end, your position here isn’t going to give you any advantage at your final performance review.
VIII. Invitation: He came not for what we could do for Him but what He would do for us. To give, To ransom. To save us; to cleanse us. We all need that cleansing, to be washed first by His blood, and then in the water of His Word. And Jesus came, so we could have what we need. To a Lord like that, isn’t it right to submit?