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Fyodor Dostoevsky
I gradually begin a desk to sink into that condition which is so common with me at night in my illness, and which I call mystic care. It is the most oppressive, agonising state of terror of something that I cannot define, something ungraspable and outside of the natural order of things, but which may yet take shape this very minute, as though in mockery of all the conclusions of reason, and come to me and stand before me as an undeniable fact, hideous, horrible, and relentless… In spite of all the protests of reason, The mind loses all power of resistance. It is unheeded, it becomes useless, and this inward division intensifies the agony of suspense. It seems to me something like the anguish of people who are afraid of the dead.
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